Fighting Our Own Demons

 Growing up, I experienced a fearful voice telling me to leave if I felt a sense of love or affection. This fear led to unreliable and selfish behavior, such as never making plans or leaving events mid-sentence. The fear was that I liked the people I was infatuated with, but the voice told me to look for better options. This inner devil kept pushing me away from intimate relationships, and I spent the next decade acting insane to cope with my feelings.

OUR INSIDE MONSTERS

All of us have demons, or aspects of ourselves that we prefer not to face but that we know are there. These parts of us lead us to act selfishly and irrationally, not out of love for ourselves but rather out of fear for ourselves. However much we try to keep our demons hidden, they always lurk there, boiling to the surface and leaking out from under the mask we put on them. And the more our lives become messed up, the harder we try to keep that lid down. To forget our demons, we get stoned or intoxicated. We use employment or competition as a diversion from our demons.

We behave badly toward others in order to mask our irrational worry that they may do the same to us in the future.

Anything to ward off the devils...

It's likely that you have faced your inner demons at some point; you may have loathed yourself for your foolish actions or resisted feelings of remorse or rage. You've made promises to yourself that you'll put the vodka away at last or that you won't listen to that inner voice.

Laziness is one of the demons I still battle. We're all lazy slobs at least occasionally, but if I'm not careful, my battle with my own "usefulness" in this world frequently descends into a lonely and gloomy place. I have a tendency to be really hard on myself when I put things off. I'm a no good, lazy sack of trash, and I have a tendency to be fairly hard on myself. I assume that everyone is doing well and getting better every day, except for me. After many years, I see now how illogical this notion is. Even still, there's that tiny voice within telling me that since nobody else struggles to stay motivated, I must be a loser of some kind.

Demons begin as self judgments such as "you're dirty, lazy, stupid, unlovable, etc."

Then, we make every effort to disprove that judgment and evade that judgment. Six times, we clean the garage. Our workdays consist of eleven hours. At the neighborhood ice rink, we take home a blue ribbon. I am cool and nice, like I said! Look! Take a look at me! However, this avoidance eventually turns detrimental to oneself. Rather than taking your children home from school, you clean the garage once more. You work so late that on the way home, you nod off. Your lover walks out on you, yelling, "You never wanted me!" due to the fact that you are preoccupied with skating rink blue ribbons. All you wanted was someone to observe your skating!

Even worse, your monster persists despite your best efforts to refute it. The monster of idleness never lets me feel good about myself. One of my wife's demons is the cleaning demon; she can never feel like things are tidy or well-organized enough. Regardless all your efforts, the devil remains unsatisfied. Hence, your only option is to divert your attention from the devil or, worse, give in.

These days, I often find myself in a slump where I play video games for three to four days in a row, detesting the fact that I'm doing it.

Our demons become a form of self-loathing in this way. You feel stuck and helpless. You are unable to prevail. Regardless of your level of success, you are unable to refute the demon. But when you give up and fall short, all you do is validate the devil's claim. All of a sudden, that vodka sounds rather nice.yet there must be a more effective approach to get over this demon.

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How To Boost Your Confidence In A Job Interview

Job seekers need to prepare well to survive rigorous interview sessions organised by employers.

Job search can be stressful and frustrating. Hence, motivation and positive  attitude are required to get the right and a dream job. Job seekers are usually nervous during interviews.

High degree of confidence is necessary to gain the interviewer's attention.

Maintain great posture and confidence with these useful interview tips:

1. Body Postures:

Naturally our actions and movement are control of our mind, yet we can make our minds to function in a way that changes our reactions. It is worthwhile to understand that slouching and crossing of arms during interview sessions are regarded as bad postures, it is mostly caused by timidness and lack of confidence on the part of the interviewee. If you are committed to opening yourself up and exhibiting the postures of the confident, you can develop a positive attitude and win interviewer's heart. Usually, it's your confidence that gives you the job. You will have to spend several minutes practicing how to open yourself up, spreading your arms, walking interview venue with your head high up. 

2. Speak With High Level Of Energy 

Speaking with a fainted voice or lack of clarity is a big turn off.  If you are not audible enough, while speaking, practice deep breathing, this will relax your diaphragm and your vocal cords, which will result in a voice with more resonance and a somewhat lower tone and more breath to give power to your speech.

It is advisable to add a few singing lessons, the instructor can teach you how to use the cavities in your head to create even more resonance. Once the interview starts, it’s extremely difficult to correct our speaking problems because we may be too nervous or we just plain don’t notice them. It is necessary to learn how to respond to questions aloud so you can hear your voice and correct any nervous pitch, tonation, and pacing problems before you go to your interview.

Smiling a way of connecting with the interviewer and a show of confidence. It reduces stress that your body and mind feel, almost similar to getting good sleep, according to recent studies. And smiling helps to generate more positive emotions within you. Smile often before your interview to get in the habit of doing so, and you’ll feel more comfortable offering a genuine smile while you’re greeted and when you’re being interviewed.

3. Practice and Rehearse Answers Loudly

Before attending any interview invitation, you must be fully equipped. Going to interviews prepared gives a feeling of confidence. You should be well-equipped, rehearse potential interview answers with a friend. Consider the skills, experience, knowledge and personal qualities you have and think of examples showing how you developed these.

4. Control Your Anxiety and Fear

For some job seekers, lack of confidence can be seen all over them from miles away. Something happens when they walk through the door of the interviewer’s office. Cold sweat trickles down the back of their knees. It's disappointing to see someone running out answers when enquiries are made to ascertain reasons they are interested to work for companies they applied for as well as determining their long-long-term career goals.

These candidates feel like they’re back at school in front of a crowded assembly, unable to make those words pass their lips. The easiest way to combat fear is by not using excuses. Instead, you need to optimistic and look for positive approaches to accomplish your goal. Don’t let fear, nerves and stage fright keep you from the job interview you want. Sometimes nerves take over and you don’t show who you are.

5. Dress Appropriately

Before you say a single word to the interviewer, you have already made an impression based on how you’re dressed. Every company has a different dress code; how you dress for the job may have very little to do with how you dress for an interview. Dress in a manner that is professionally appropriate to the position for which you are applying. In almost all cases, this means wearing a suit. A dark-colored suit with a light colored shirt is your best option.

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How To Detect Fake Interview Invitation And Scammers

It has become a trend to see fake recruiters and  companies send misleading job invitation to job seekers only to learn that they are Multi level marketing firms. I have come across so many job searchers who have had experience with these people. The ordeal of young graduates who in a bid to secure a white collar job fell into the hands of the swindlers. The most painful of this menace is a situation where job seekers who have no job, borrow money from friends and family members with the hope of assuring the job to pay back the loan collected to travel for the fake interview.

It is not clear whether there's any government authority charged with the responsibility of monitoring the activities of these drug marketing companies because the way they spread across the country frustrating job seeker calls for concern.

Some of the job seekers had to travel from a far distance, generally from another part of the country to the purported interview venue in the other state.
They are extorted by their scammers with a promise of guaranteeing a better future after displayed of pictures of holidays in Dubai, London, South Africa and so on. The amount extorted may range from $16, approximately N8,00 to $25 which is approximately N12,500 for registration and other logistics only to find out that have been scammed. Some of these companies have lists of firms in the city whereby they post job seekers, offering letters of appointments or reference. Job seekers on reaching the premises of the firms they're referred to, will be told either there's no recruitment going on or the said firm has not been functioning. It's so pathetic what job seekers pass through in the hands of these people.

There is no such inhumane as this vicious act. These job seekers are left begging for transport fare to travel back to their homes where they are faced with debts to settle. Job seekers should endeavour to research some companies sending them messages to attend interviews. There are online fora you can get relevant information about the organization. A simple search online can save you all the tenseness. If you are unable to discover relevant information about the company, it's better you forget about the interview and delete such messages from your device.
Most times, these Multi Level Marketing companies pretending to be recruiting for an organisation have their affiliate companies where they can well refer you to go for interview If you do not honour the initial invites or they can simply modify their office address so that you think it's another company.
You really have to be smart to beat these people.

There are ways to discover a fake interview invitation. These may include, but not restricted to, the following;

• A message with codes in the form of: HR 0012 or HR Ref: 208. It's a trend in the scammers interview invitation messages and it's the code of the person inviting you who is playing as your referral.
  
  
• Most messages from the scammers do not carry the company's name. In every bit much as I understand that not all recruiters will like to disclose the identity of the company they are recruiting for, it is better to give an overview of the company. So, job seekers should be weary of the     messages that comes in this format.
  
  
• Job briefing is a term that is ordinarily found in the message. I do not understand what "job briefing" means to them. But the next time you pick up messages from a recruiter, endeavour to research the company.
  
  
• Messages contained only phone number and, no detailed description of the company. Although, most genuine recruiters do not give out phone numbers, but you will surely receive a contact number for further inquiries on the interview or venue.
  
  
• They are reluctant to give you relevant information should you ring their phone numbers. In this instance, you should be very careful not to waste your time, money and energy attending the interview.
  
  
• The have database of job seekers who probably have subscribed up for job updates on some job portals or social networking sites. It is easy for them to send you interview invitation when you know you do not apply for the job. The next time you receive an interview invitation and you doubt when you apply, check your mailbox and diary, If you could not find any information about when you apply for such job, do justice by deleting  such messages from your device to save yourself the stress of their scammers frustrating your life.
  
  
• Another avenue to lure unsuspecting job seekers to their troupe is the sharing of flyers on the roadside advertising job vacancies. The also post job vacancies on the walls along the route to lure job seekers into their net.

Be Guided!!!

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